"I Hope That Something Better Comes Along"

written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams

(Rowlf & Kermit--both voiced by Jim Henson--sing their laments about women after Miss Piggy just walked out on her date with Kermit)

Rowlf: Evenin' Rowlf. Rowlf the Dog. Sit yourself down.
Kermit: Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
Rowlf: Please to meet ya.
(Rowlf plays a rapid musical scale across the piano's keys)
Rowlf: I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.
Kermit: That was...that was very nice.
(Rowlf notices Kermit's sad mood)
Rowlf: Whoa, hey, broken heart, right?
Kermit: Does it show?
Rowlf: Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have, you've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain, a shattered dream for every fallen star!
Kermit: Exactly. She just walked out on me.
Rowlf: Ah, typical. That's why I live alone.
Kermit: You do, huh?
Rowlf: (starts the song's intro) Yep. I finish work, go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk and go to bed.
Kermit: Nice and simple.
Rowlf: Stay away from women. That's my motto.
Kermit: But I can't.
Rowlf: Neither can I. That's my trouble...

You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.
There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Kermit: (spoken): Yeah, I know what you mean...

It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.
If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.
She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish setter
When puppy love comes on strong?
Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.

Kermit: (spoken): Uh, Rowlf, was that a new 'leash' on life?
Rowlf: (spoken): Oh yeah...sorry about that.

I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
Come "Father's Day", the litter bug's gonna getcha;
The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.

Still, it's fun when they're fetching,
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.
There is no solution, it's part of evolution,
The pitter-patter of soles,
The little feet of tadpoles!

Kermit: (spoken) Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet!
Rowlf: (spoken) Oh. Sorry about that.... 2, 3, 4!

There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'
Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'.
A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better comes along!!!
Rowlf: Beep bop bidder da dum dum bum bum bum!

Rowlf: (spoken): It's not often you see a guy that green have the blues that bad!

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