Young Adult
written by Diablo Cody

[Beth turns and accidentally spills her drink on Mavis.]
Mavis: Fuck you! You fucking bitch! [laughing] Oh my God. You should see your face. It's a joke. Are you just gonna stand there like a big lump? I love your sweater.
Beth: I'll get you a rag.
Mavis: Go get me a rag because you got so many of those lying around here. Fucking burp cloths, whatever. You know the funny thing is, I could have had this party a long time ago. This exact same party. Yeah! Buddy and I were together for four years and we were inseparable. Jan knows. Right, Jan? Tell them!
You want to clean up?
Mavis: No, don't bother. It is silk. It's fucked.
Hedda Gary: Mavis, sweetheart --
Mavis: Mother, I'm trying to tell a story here. Yeah, Buddy got me pregnant at 20. And we were gonna keep it! We were gonna have a little baby and a little naming party and a Funquarium. All of that. And then twelve weeks into it, well, I had Buddy's miscarriage. Which I wouldn't wish for anyone. Maybe if things were just a little bit more hospitable down south in my broken body, Buddy and I would be here right now with a teenager and probably even more kids because we always found each other. Always! Right, Jan? Tell them!

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