Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
written by Roald Dahl (from his novel), and David Seltzer (uncredited)
Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson): What rules? We didn't see any rules, did we, Charlie?
Wonka: (angrily) Wrong, sir! Wrong! Under section 37B of the contract signed by him, it states quite clearly that all offers shall become null and void if - and you can read it for yourself in this photostatic copy - "I, the undersigned, shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein and herein contained," et cetera, et cetera... "Fax mentis, incendium gloria cultum," et cetera, et cetera... Memo bis punitor delicatum! It's all there! Black and white, clear as crystal! You STOLE Fizzy-Lifting Drinks! You BUMPED into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get... NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR! (he returns to work)
Grandpa Joe: (shocked) You're a crook... (furious) You're a cheat and a swindler...! That's what you are! How can you do a thing like this?! Build up a little boy's hopes, and then smash all his dreams to pieces?! You're an inhuman monster...! Wonka: I said "GOOD DAY"!!
Credit and many thanks to Benjamin for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
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