With Honors
written by William Mastrosimone

Monty: Simon wrote his own obituary and he asked me to read it. (he pulls a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolds it and reads) "Simon B. Wilder bit it on Wednesday". (small laughing sigh) "He saw the world out of the porthole of a leaky freighter, was a collector of memories and interrupted a lecture at Harvard." (pause) In fifty years on earth, he did only one thing he regretted." [pause] "He is survived by his family: Jeff Hawks, who always remembers to flush, Everett Callaway, who knows how to use words, Courtney Bloominthall, who is strong, but know how to love, and Montgomery Kessler," [starts to cry] "who will graduate life with honor and no regret."

Kudos and much thanks go to Felicity for the donation of this monologue, it is very very much appreciated.

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