Urinetown: The Musical
written by Greg Kotis

Lockstock: It's kind of a mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place you won't see until Act Two. And then...? Well, let's just say it's filled with symbolism and things like that. But Urinetown "the musical", well, here we are. Welcome. It takes place in a town like any town...that you might find in a musical. This here's the first setting for the show. As the sign says, it's a "public amenity", meaning public toilet. These people have been waiting for hours to get in. It's the only amenity they can afford to get into.

Lockstock: Well, as you guessed, Hope took over her father's business, instituting a series of reforms which opened the public bathrooms to all the people, to pee for free whenever they liked, as much as they liked, for as long as they liked, with whomever they liked. The UGC was renamed, "The Bobby Strong Memorial Toilet Authority" and was operated as a public trust for the benefit of the people. Of course, it wasn't long before the water turned silty, brackish and then disappeared altogether. As cruel as Caldwell B. Cladwell was, his measures effectively regulated water consumption, sparing the town the same fate as the phantom Urinetown. Hope chose to ignore the warning signs, however, preferring to bask in the people's love for as long as it lasted. If there is a next time I'm sure we can. Well, that's our story. Hope eventually joined her father in a manner not quite so gentle. As for the people of this town? They did as best they could. But they were prepared for the world they inherited, weaned as they were on the legend born of their founding father's scare tactics. For when the water dried up, they recognized their town for the first time for what it really was. What it was always waiting to be.

Kudos and much thanks go to Charlie for these monologues, it is very much appreciated.

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