written by M. Night Shyamalan
(We gradually see the reflections of their faces in the framed comic-book artwork.)
Elijah Price: It's a classic depiction of good versus evil. Notice the square jaw of Slayer - common in most comic book heroes. And the slightly disproportionate size of Jaguaro's body to his head. This again is common, but only in villains... The thing to notice about this piece... The thing that makes it very, very special... is its realistic depiction of its figures. When the characters eventually made it into the magazine they were exaggerated... as always happens. This is vintage.
Businessman (Firdous Bamji): Wrap it up.
Elijah Price: You've made a considerably wise decision.
Businessman: My kid's gonna go berserk.
(Elijah stops dead in his tracks)
Elijah Price: Once again please?
Businessman: My son Jeb. It's a gift for him.
Elijah Price: How old is -- Jeb?
Elijah Price: No. No, no, no, no, no. You need to go now.
Businessman: What did I say?
Elijah Price: Do you see any Teletubbies around here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name printed on it? Do you see a little Asian child with a blank expression sitting outside in a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No? Well that's what you see at a toy store. And you must think this is a toy store, 'cause you're in here shopping for an infant named Jeb. Now one of us has made a gross error and wasted the other person's valuable time. This is an art gallery my friend. And THIS is a piece of art.
Kudos and much thanks go to Andrew for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
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