Much Better Than Steve Cisco
from the TV series created by Aaron Sorkin
Dan: How ya doin'? Rebecca: Dan! Dan: I knew I knew you. Rebecca: Yes. Dan: You're Steve Cisco's wife. Rebecca: Ex-wife. Dan: We were introduced once. Rebecca: Yes. Dan: Why have you been pretending you didn't remember me? Rebecca: Look who’s talking! You didn't remember me and you weren't pretending. Dan: Yeah, but then we met in the elevator and you pretended you didn't remember me after that. Until you did remember me later but then you didn't want to go out with me anyway. Rebecca: That's right. Dan: Because "sportscasters are self-absorbed, narrow-minded people of limited intelligence and limitless ego." Rebecca: That's right. Dan: Lemme tell you something - first of all, I'm a sports anchor not a sportscaster, second of all you married a jerk. I know about Steve Cisco, everybody knows about Steve Cisco, sister you married a loser. And the fact that you think that that man's brand of low-grade manhood is in any way indicative of my profession is beneath your obvious intelligence and class. What guys like that do to women like you makes me absolutely crazy. (pause) I knew I recognized you. Will you look at this? You're working late, I've got a show to do in ten minutes just twelve stories up. There's no earthly reason why you shouldn't be having dinner with me after the show. It'd be midnight, we'd go to a great place, and I'd ask you about your day, because I genuinely do care about your day, and I'd be funny and you’d have a good time. And when I took you home at like 3 AM, I'd have tried to kiss you goodnight and I think I’d have been successful. In fact I know it. (pause) And I can't believe none of that is ever going to happen because once there was a time you married an idiot. (pause) I've got to get back to my job which, rest assured, I do considerably better than Steve Cisco.
Kudos and much thanks go to John K. for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.