written by Richard Linklater

S-T-E-V-E with a van (Stephen Jacobson): Check it out, man, I really, honestly believe that this guy is still alive. And I believe that he's like, living in Las Vegas or something... because if the guy's half-ass cool, you know he's, like, an Elvis impersonator. Because I mean, like it's some sort of spiritual hell to parody yourself at the height of your ridiculousness. So the guy's got to get up every day, get as fat as he was, and just make fun of himself all day long. I mean, isn't that a killer job? Isn't that what all old people sort of do? Once they get over twenty-eight?"

Kudos and many thanks to Greg for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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