Confessions of a Shopaholic
written by Sophie Kinsella

(Rebecca Bloomwood's speech on the television show Morning Coffee, explaining why the Flagstaff Life bank is incompetent and how it cheated many people out of a huge amount of money)

Rebecca: Let's...suppose I'm in a clothes shop! I'm in a clothes shop and I've chosen a wonderful cashmere Nicole Farhi coat. Okay? Okay, so imagine I'm standing in the checkout queue, minding my own business, when a sales assistant comes up to me and says, "Why not buy this other coat instead? It's better quality-and I'll throw in a free bottle of perfume." I've got no reason to distrust the sales assistant, so I think, wonderful, and I buy the other coat. But when I get outside, I discover that this other coat isn't Nicole Farhi and isn't real cashmere. I go back in-and the shop won't give me a refund. I was ripped off. And the point is, so were thousands of Flagstaff Life customers. They were persuaded out of their original choice of investment, into a fund which left them £20,000 worse off. Perhaps Flagstaff Life didn't break the law. Perhaps they didn't contravene any regulations. But there's a natural justice in this world, and they didn't just break that, they shattered it. Those customers deserved that windfall. They were loyal, long-standing customers and they deserved it. And if you're honest, Luke Brandon, you know they deserved it.

Kudos and much thanks go to Starbeam for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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