Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
written by Jeffrey Price & Peter S. Seaman, from the novel by Gary K. Wolf
Eddie Valiant: We're supposed to be hiding. What's wrong with you?
Roger Rabbit: What's wrong with you? You're the only person in this theatre that isn't laughing. Is there nothing that can permeate your impervious puss? Hey Eddie! (Roger opens his mouth wide and sticks out his tongue to make a funny face, but Valiant doesn't react) Boy, nothing. What could have possibly happened to you to turn you into such a vsourpuss?
Valiant: You wanna know? I'll tell ya. A Toon killed my brother.
Roger: A Toon? No...
Valiant: That's right. A Toon. We were investigatin' a robbery of the First National Bank of Toontown. Back in those days me and Teddy liked workin' Toontown. Thought it was a lotta laughs. Anyway, this guy got away with a zillion samoullians. The trail led to a little dive down on Yockster Street. We went in, only he got the drop on us - literally. Dropped a piano on us from fifteen stories. Broke my arm. Teddy never made it. I never did find out who that guy was. All I remember was him standin' over me laughin', with those burnin' red eyes and that high squeaky voice. He disappeared into Toontown after that.
Roger: (sobbing and upset) Now I know why you hate me. If a Toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too.
Valiant: Come on, don't cry, I don't hate ya.
Roger: Yes you do.
Valiant: No I don't.
Roger: You do hate me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have yanked my ears all those times.
Valiant: Well, I'm sorry I yanked your ears.
Roger: (brightening up) All the times you yanked my ears?
Valiant: All the times I yanked your ears.
Roger (extending his hand): Apology accepted. Put'er there, pal. I feel better...
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