written by Paul Attanasio, from book by Richard N. Goodwin
Charles Van Doren: I would give almost anything I have to reverse the course of my life in the last year. The past doesn't change for anyone, but at least I can learn from the past. I've learned a lot about life. I've learned a lot about myself. And about the responsibilities any man has towards his fellow men. I've learned a lot about good and evil. They're not always what they appear to be. I was involved, deeply involved, in a deception. I have deceived my friends, and I have millions of them. I lied to the American people. First, I lied about what I knew. And then I lied about what I did not know. In a sense I was like a child who refuses to admit a fact in the hope it'll go away. Of course, it did not go away. I was scared. Scared to death. I had no solid position, no basis to stand on for myself. There was one way out, and that was simply to tell the truth. It may sound trite to you but I have found myself again after a number of years. I've been acting a role, maybe all my life, of thinking I had done more, accomplished more, produced more, than I have. I've had all the breaks. I've stood on the shoulders of life and I've never gotten down into the dirt to build, or to erect, a foundation of my own. I have flown to high on borrowed wings. Everything came too easy. And that is why I am here today.
Kudos and immense thanks go to Maggi for donating this monologue for my
page; much appreciation and my everlasting gratitude go to her.
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