The Devil Wears Prada
written by Aline Brosh McKenna, from the novel by Lauren Weisberger
Miranda Priestly: I don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment.
Emily (Emily Blunt): I know, I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm...
Miranda Priestly: The details of your incompetence do not interest me. Tell Simone I'm not going to prove that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling; she sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And RSVP yes to Michael Kors' party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Then call Natalie at Gloria's Foods and tell her no, for the 40th time, no, I don't want dacquoise, I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him that the parent/teacher conference at Dalton tonight. Then call my husband. Ask him to please meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Masima. Also, tell Richard I saw all the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they're all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try. I wonder if she's lost any of that weight yet. (sees Andy) Who is that?
Miranda Priestly: Stephen isn't coming.
Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway): Oh, okay. So, then I don't need to fetch Stephen at the airport tomorrow?
Miranda Priestly: Well, if you speak to him and he decides to rethink the divorce, then yes. Fetch away. You're very fetching, so go fetch. And then, when we get back to New York, we need to contact Leslie and see what she can do to minimize the press on all this. Another divorce, splashed across page 6. Just imagine what they're going to write about me: "The Dragon Lady, career-obsessed. Snow Queen drives away another Mr. Priestley." Rupert Murdoch should cut me a check for all the papers I sell for him. Anyway, I don't really care what anybody writes about me. But, my girls. It's just so unfair to the girls. Another disappointment, another letdown, another father figure. Anyway, the point is... the point is... the point is we really need to figure out where to place Donatella, because she's barely speaking to anyone.
(Miranda and her assistants are deciding between two similar belts for an outfit. Andy sniggers because she thinks they look exactly the same.)
Miranda Priestly: Something funny?
Andy Sachs: No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.
Miranda Priestly: This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blindly unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic "casual corner" where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of "stuff."
Credit and many thanks to Shawn for the third of these three monologues, it is very much appreciated.