written by Mars Callahan & Chris Corso
Mike: You watch those nature documentaries on the cable?
Johnny (Mars Callahan): Yeah.
Mike: You see the one about lions?
Mike: You got this lion, heís the king of the jungle. Huge mane out to here. He's laying down under a tree, in the middle of Africa, he's so big, he's so hot! He doesn't wanna move. Now, the little lion cubs they start messin' with him, bitin' his tail, bitin' his ears, he doesnít do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him, coming over making trouble, still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this, and they start to move in. The jackals, hyenas, they're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this and they get closer and closer and bolder and bolder, till one day...that lion gets up and tears the shit outta everybody, runs like the wind, eats everything in his path, 'cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals who he is. It's too late to be scared, it's time to kill. I'm goin' in the other room, you come out when you're ready. Donít beat him, kick his ass!
Kudos and much thanks go to David for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
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