Planes, Trains, Automobiles
written by John Hughes

Car Rental Agent (Edie McClurg): Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal Page: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumbass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I REALLY don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking...runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car right...fucking...now!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: (through gritted teeth) I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal Page: Oh boy what?
Car Rental Agent: You're fucked.

[ please return to the main movie monologue page ]