Playing By Heart
written by Willard Carroll

Joan: I've had a terrible day. I know we were talking about you for a moment there, but my day was so bad. How bad you might ask?
Keenan (Ryan Phillippe): I might if you gave me the chance.
Joan: I was just saving you the effort so that after I tell you my tale of horror we can move onto happier topics, perhaps one of your choosing! Anway, I'm an actress, did I tell you that?
Keenan: No, but it figures.
Joan: Well, I had this monologue in class today, and I was prepared, I mean like really prepared. You know "Suddenly Last Summer" by Tennesee Williams? (Keenan shakes his head "no") Oh, it's one of my favorites, great story. It's about this girl Katherine, moi, who's slated for a lobotomy because the mother of her cousin wants to keep her mouth shut about certain goings on involving the old lady's son Sebastian. You see, the women sort of pimp for cousin Sebastian. Are you following all this? Anyway, it turns out that on their travels, Sebastian likes to troll the beaches for young native boys to satisfy his base instinct. Well, one hot summer afternoon in Cartehania, the boys decide they have had quite enough of Sebastians shananigans and, well...they eat him. No, they really eat him. They devour him! In short, he's lunch. And Katherine witnesses every course from soup to nuts, if you pardon the expression. So, I'm about to do this killer monologue, I'm up next.
CUT TO: Teacher: If one more actor saunters into this class and recites Katherine's "native boys ate my cousin Sebastian" speech, I am going to puke. Now who's next? Umm...Joan!
BACK TO: Joan: The teacher didn't lose his lunch, I did.

Kudos and much thanks go to NAME for this monologue, it is very much appreciated. This piece has been edited slightly for the purposes of this page.

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