The Opposite of Sex
written by Don Roos
DeDee: Seems like everybody is having sex but me. It's not that I'm against sex. I mean, it was clever of God or evolution or whatever to hook the survival of the species to it, because we're gonna screw around no matter what. It was a smarter thing to pick than, say, the instinct to share your toys or return phone calls. (scoffs) We'd have died out, like, eons ago. But on the minus side -- God, all the attachment that goes with it. It's like this net. Sex always ends in kids or disease or, like, you know, relationships. That's exactly what I don't want. I want the opposite of all that. Because it's not worth it. Not really? Is it? When you think about it. (we see a montage of images of relationships - brothers, sisters, lovers, DeDee and one boy she adored) Okay, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it'sn not all shit. Maybe - (spoken out-loud) goddamn it. I thought the whole idea was I knew what happens next. I'll tell you one thing. I'm not gonna go back to Bill's house and be this big changed person for you. I told you right off, I don't grow a heart of gold. And if I do, which is, like, so unlikely, give me a break and don't make me do it in front of you! Come on, guys, go okay? (spoken, directly towards the camera) Go! (cut to black) I'll give you this much, though. I never was the same again after that summer.
(The movie ends.)
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