Night on Earth
written by Jim Jarmusch

Gino: I have so many sins to confess, Father. First thing, when I was about 12 or 13 years old, when boys become big men, well each his own physique, and you begin to feel that desire for ... how can I say it? For love. For sex. You feel the need for release, you understand, to relieve the desire to ... Anyway, I lived in the country, where there weren't many women, and though you're still a kid, inside you feel a man's feeling, and there was no way to relieve this feeling. So the idea, not mine but a real intelligent friend of mine's, of relieving ourselves with, to make love with ... how do I say this? With pumpkins. Pumpkins. Warm, soft, damp, with seeds inside, so round -- and we would -- toom ta toom -- help me find the words, Father -- we relieved ourselves with these pumpkins.
But then after a certain age, I quit. I don't know if my friend quit, but that's his business. I quit, because I felt, Father, and I'm sure you'll agree, in growing up to be a sensitive, even religious man that love is something every man needs, but not with a vegetable, but with something alive ... something that moves, that's warm, that looks you in the eyes. Something with a soul --- anyway there was a sheep. A beautiful little sheep. Father, she was nice, kind, sweet, pretty, I called her Lola. Not an ugly old sheep like the others, but a little sheep. So delicate, refined. Soft wool, two big eyes watching me. At first, I didn't even notice. And what a sweet little voice: "baaah baaah" and I was enchanted. Not like the other sheep, "baah" but "baah." Her movements were so refined. She'd come beside me and somehow I was always on top of her. She was so pretty, even erotic. She would embarrass me because she would come around when I was with my friends. People began to notice this, it was embarrassing.
In fact finally my father noticed. A horrible memory. You know what he did? He sold her to a -- a -- a -- a -- a butcher, a butcher, my Lola, he sold my Lola to a butcher, a butcher named Guido Rusticoni. A fat, hairy, sweaty guy. Rude, uneducated, really ugly, disgusting. He was horrible. My Lola to a butcher for 80000 lire. I felt so badly that I haven't eaten meat since. Even now when they ask me "Do you want some lamb?" Me lamb? No thanks. And I don't eat vegetables either because of the pumpkins. In fact, I don't eat much at all anymore.
It was very traumatic for me. What I want to say is I understand that these are big sins, but truly, father, they are sins of love.
So my brother Vincenzo lives here in Rome too. He's a plumber, repairs pipes, water. One night he invited me to dinner, he and my sister-in-law Monica. So I went to their house. They have female dog too, very cute. So after dinner, he got an emergency call, the pipes exploded in a condominium-- water everywhere. And like a lightning bolt he ran off with his tools, and I was left alone with Monica. Now Monica is beautiful. You should see her, absolutely gorgeous. She really likes me. She always look at me with those strange sister-in- law eyes. At their wedding I said "Congratulations," she looked at me strangely. She married my brother, and we're the same type. Well, I'm even more handsome than he is. So Monica and I were alone. She started cleaning at the sink. As she bent over, I was sitting behind her like this, and from this position I saw two cheeks. Two cheeks. Mama mia! An ass from out of this world. With tiny white panties, riding up a little so you could see one whole cheek, the other was partly covered. Father, I couldn't control myself. She turned and looked at me with those eyes, and suddenly I was on top of her. Father, that beautiful ass -- pink, soft, round like a pumpkin. Those soft wool panties reminded of the sheep. The pumpkin, the sheep, my brother's wife, I was on fire! Then we were on the floor, under the table. The beauty of it! What pleasure! We enjoyed ourselves like ... imagine, Father! Heaven on earth! I said to myself "But this is my brothers wife!" but I couldn't stop and I said it again "It's your brothers wife. Stop!" but I couldn't. Ta ta toom! Ta ta toom! It lasted hours. And she screamed, "Aaah!" and I screamed "Aaah!" It was terrible. Just beautiful. I turned her over and kissed her all over -- her neck, her perfect breasts. I stayed there all night. I never went back because she's my brother's wife, although he never noticed anything. Now she smiles whenever she sees me, and I say "Remember when we fucked like animals on the floor?" It was truly paradise. My gorgeous sister-in-law.
I don't know if you ever made love with your sister-in-law, Father, but you should try it, because it's absolute heaven. Then you just confess, it's incredible. Father, I know these sins must be confessed, but they were just so wonderful. Monica. Beautiful.

Kudos and much thanks go to Mikko for the donation of this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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