from the TV series, created by Paul Simms

(Dave (Dave Foley) has put in a complaint box for the studio. And, at a staff meeting, he complains that no one takes it seriously. To accent his point, he reads the cards from the box.)
Dave: "You suck." "You suck." "Howard Stern rules." "If you can read this you are a dork." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl." "We need more complaint cards." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a guy."
Joe (Joe Rogan): Hey!
Dave: (pulling out a fortune cookie slip) "You will go on a journey, happy long time." "Matthew is a moron." "No I'm not." "Yes you are." "No I'm not infinity." "Yes you are infinity plus one." And this one, "I have doobie in my funk," which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, Chocolate City. Uh, "You got peanut butter in my chocolate." "You got chocolate in my peanut butter. Together they taste like crap." "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I like it." I don't think I get this one, it says, "I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
Lisa (Maura Tierney): I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor.
Dave: Oh. Refrigem---oh, then that one's legitimate. Uh, "Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks?"
(Everyone): SHAFT!
Bill (Phil Hartman): I thought we'd all enjoy that.
Dave: And, "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a complaint box," which is actually kinda funny.

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