written by Mike Leigh
Johnny: Has nobody ever told you, Brian, that you’ve got this sort of gleeful preoccupation with the future? I wouldn’t even mind, but you don’t have a fucking future, I don’t have a future, nobody has a future, the part is over. Take a look around you, man, it’s all breaking up. Are you not familiar with the Book of Revelations of St. John—the final book of the Bible—prophesying the apocalypse?
Brian (Peter Wight): Yes, at it happens, I’m familiar with all the books of the Bible.
Johnny: I’m very happy for you. “He forced everyone to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead so that no one shall be able to buy or sell unless he has the mark,” which is the name of the beast, or the number of his name, and the number of the beast is 666--
Brian: 666, I know about it! I know about Nostradamus. Nostradamus talked about three brothers. Now, did he mean the Kennedy brothers or was he talking about three bits of the Soviet Union? See? You just can’t tell.
Johnny: Fuck Nostradamus. I’m not talking about Nostradamus, or loving ship, or Russel Grant or Mystic fucking Meg, I’m talking about the Holy fucking Book. What can such a specific prophecy mean? What is the mark? Well, the mark, Brian, is the barcode. The ubiquitous barcode that you’ll find on every bogroll, on every packet of Jonny’s and every poxie pot pie, and every fucking barcode is divided into two parts by three markers, and those three markers are always represented by the number 6. 6-6-6! Now what does it say? “No one shall be able to buy or sell without that mark!” And now what they’re planning to do in order to eradicate all credit card fraud and in order precipitate a totally cashless society, what they’re planning to do, what they’ve already tested on the American troops, they’re going to subcutaneously laser tattoo on your right hand or on your forehead, they’re going to replace plastic with flesh: FACT! In the same book of Revelations when the Seven seals have broken open on the Day of Judgment, and the seven angels blow their trumpets, when the third angel blows her bugle, “Wormwood will fall from the sky,” wormwood will poison a third part of all the waters and a third part of all the land and many, many, many people will die. Now do you know what the Russian translation for Wormwood is? Chernobyl: FACT! On August the 18th, 1999 the planets of our solar system are going to line up in the shape of a cross!
Brian: I don’t believe in astrology.
Johnny: I’m not talking about astrology. I’m talking about astronomy! They’re going to line into fix signs of Aquarius, Leo, Taurus and Scorpio, which just happen to correspond to the four beasts of the apocalypse as mentioned in the book of Daniel. Another fucking fact! Do you want me to go on!? The end of the world is nigh, Brian! The game is up!
Credit and many thanks to Michael for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
[ please return to the main movie monologue page ]