Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
written by Mike Nelson (head writer) et al. Best Brains Inc.

Dr. Forrester: Ah, your here. Hello. Welcome. I'm Dr. Clayton Forrester and soon you will all bow down before me. What you are about to see in an experiment. And by observing you have become part of that experiment. For I have shot a man into space and have been driving him crazy by making him watch the worst movies ever made. Oh sure we all thought about it, but I had the guts to do it! (gets knocked down, regains his composure) This is my subject Mike Nelson, a disgustingly mild mannered dope whose managed to survive every film I've subjected him to. But perhaps this movie will drive him to the breaking point and crush his very soul. And then I will unleash it on unwitting public and then I will rule the world! (gets carried away, spanks himself with a clipboard) YES! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M A NAUGHTY BOY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY... Naughty...naught... Well... (clears throat, regains his composure) you will join Mike in watching the Universal classic "This Island Earth". Now prepare yourself for my maddest madness yet! (pulls a lever, all the lights go out) Oh, poopie!

Kudos and much thanks go to TheJay for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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