A Child's Christmas in Space
written by Mike Nelson, et al. Best Brains
Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy): It's quiet in the cold of our own little orbit, starless and Bible black. And as I look down on the big blue bead we would call home, I think it's so near, yet... Oh, I wish on that star and I hope that in a little snow-covered house with a warm hearth and a loving family, maybe some kid is looking up tonight and wishing upon us. Oh, and how I hope sweet Santa will fly by tonight because if he does I'm gonna reach right out and hug that big guy. Oh, for the sound of hooves against the steel hull of the ship. Oh, to see the rosy face of Santa in the portal offering me a Coke and a smile.
[starts to lose it] Of course, his face *would* be rosy because its a vacuum out there! I mean, Santa's heart would explode! But he wouldn't feel it because the capillaries in his brain would pop like little firecrackers due to the blood boiling away in his face like a pudding in a copper--OH THE HUMANITY! And his jolly old belly would start bubbling like a roasted marshmallow, eyes bulging and popping out... AND THE REINDEER! OH, THE REINDEER keep floating like holiday floats, in their turn exploding like a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer--BOOM! Dancer--BOOM--!
Joel Robinson (Joel Hodgson): HEY!
Crow T. Robot (Trace Beaulieu): Tom!
Joel: Tom, take it easy, Santa's gonna be okay, buddy.
Tom: Are ya sure?
Joel: Yeah, give him a little credit, okay?
Tom: What a relief!
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