Lost in America
written by Albert Brooks & Monica Mcgowan Johnson
David: I think I have a multi-million dollar idea. Now, you have to be very secretive about what I'm going to tell you because the other hotels, if they heard about it, well, they'll grab it in a minute. (David leans over Shuster's desk and whispers secretively) I think, as an experiment, you give us back the money we lost. Imagine the publicity! I mean, the Hilton, for example, they have billboards all over L.A. where they put the faces of the winners of those slot machines. Now, those people win a couple hundred thousand dollars, but the hotel is getting millions of dollars of publicity with those billboards because people drive by and say, "Gee, the Hilton looks like a nice place. Look at those smiling people." So, what about a billboard with my wife and I on it and we would be smiling and there would be a saying, something like, "These people dropped out of society, they couldn't take it any longer, but they made a mistake. They lost their nest egg at The Desert Inn, but The Desert Inn gave it back." And maybe there could be some kind of a visual with you handing us an egg or something. Now I mean, I'm just formulating this now, as I'm talking, but you can imagine, when it's worked out how effective it could be. I've had clients that didn't understand the idea until they saw it on television and then they said, "My God! What a brilliant idea! Why didn't I understand this?" Maybe, my wife and I will do a television commercial for you and there could be a jingle and it that could go: (sings) "The Desert Inn has heart! The Desert Inn has heart! The Desert Inn has heart!" Something like that. See what I mean?
Kudos and much thanks go to John Locke for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.