National Lampoon's Vacation
written by John Hughes

Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo): What do you think?
Clark: (slamming on brakes) I think youíre all fucked in the head. Weíre ten hours from the fuckiní fun park and you want to bail out! Well, Iíll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, itís a quest. Itís a quest for fun. Iím gonna have fun and youíre gonna have fun. Weíre all gonna have so much fuckiní fun weíll need plastic surgery to remove our goddam smiles! Youíll be whistling "Zippity Doo Da" out of your assholes! (laughs) I gotta be crazy! Iím on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!
Russ (Anthony Michael Hall): (placing hand on Clarkís shoulder) Dad, you want an aspirin or something?
Clark: DONíT TOUCH!

Kudos and much thanks go to Jared for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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