A Knights Tale
written by Brian Helgeland
Chaucer: My lords! My ladies. And everyone else here not sitting on a cushion! (a roar from the crowd) Today....today....you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege, nay, the pleasure....of introducing to you a knight sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne. I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking His forgiveness for the Saracan blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me further still in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishings of her dreadful Turkish uncle. In Greece, he spent a year in silence....just to better understand the sound...of a whisper. And so, without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the Seeker of Serenity, the Protector of Italian Virginity, the Enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, SIR ULLLLLRICH VON LICHTENSTEIN!!
Kudos and much thanks go to SWER for this monologue, it is very much appreciated. Thanks to Larry for a couple of corrections to a couple of the sentences - many thanks.