written by Gerald Di Pego
Dr. Theo Caulder: (sighs) I'm sorry, Ethan. (no response) I don't know if you can hear me but this is my last day so -- (sighs, trails off) I put Dacks up on charges. Still might be able to get you that hearing if you would just speak. If you would just come back. Okay, Ethan. You asked me a question once. "What has you all tied up in knots when you wake up sweating in the middle of the night?" You still wanna know? I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about it a lot. It's not the work. I love the work. I've always loved the work. It's the game. The game, Ethan. And I was so good at it. I made sure all the right people liked me. At night I'd do the checklist in my mind. Am I cool with Ben Hillard? Am I cool with Dr. Josephson? Am I cool with all the people who can help me? Am I cool with all the people who can hurt me? Nobody thought I was weak or a loser. Nobody I was offending. Nobody I loved. (choked up) That game, Ethan. But guess what? You taught me how to live outside of the game. You taught me how to live. And you know what scares me even more? That I'm going back in. "Forgive me Ben! Put me back in the game! I'll make you like me again! I'll do the work. I'll do all the work! Just put me back in the game!" And you wanna know, you wanna know the psychology behind this? Now, pay attention, because I'm good at this. I'm trying not to say goodbye to you. I'm trying not to say I'll miss you. I'm trying to forget you. (crying now) Ethan Powell, case closed. Case closed! (pleading) Look at me.
(Slowly, Theo walks away)
[ please return to the main movie monologue page ]