In & Out
written by Paul Rudnick

Emily: I lost 75 pounds. I lost 75 pounds!
Howard: I'm a horrible person. You have every right to hate me. You should hate me. I insist that you hate me. I'm scum, I'm garbage, I'm vermin and I'm sorry.
Emily: You're sorry?! You're sorry?! After I wait for you! No, not just three years! My entire life! After I plan my future around our wedding. After I base my entire concept of self-esteem on the fact that you're willing to marry me! And you're sorry! Thank God my parents are dead, this would have killed 'em!... Are you
Howard: Mmm-hmm.
Emily: Is there-oh- ANY OTHER TIME YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD ME THIS! I'M WEARING A WEDDING DRESS THAT YOU PICKED OUT! I highlighted my hair because you said I needed shimmer. I loved you and believed you and pretended not to notice the Streisand thing. I thought you were just creative and I thought you were just smarter than me and more sensitive and more interesting. I just thought you were the most wonderful man that ever lived. I thought you could just change my life and show me the whole world. And teach me about art and life and magic and I thought you could make me feel like a beautiful woman instead of the girl nobody wanted.

Kudos and much thanks go to Dana for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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