The History Boys
written by Alan Bennett

Mrs. Lintott: I hesitate to mention this, lest it occasion a sophisticated groan, but it may not have crossed your minds that one of the dons who will interview you may be a woman. Iím reluctant at this stage in the game to expose you to new ideas, but having taught you all history of a strictly non-gender-orientated basis, I just wonder whether it occurs to any of you how dispiriting this can be? Can you, for a moment, imagine how depressing it is to teach five centuries of masculine ineptitude? Why do you think there are no women historians on TV? Iíll tell you why; because history if not such a frolic for women as it is for men. Why should it be, they never get around the conference table? In 1919, for instance, they just arranged the flowers, then gracefully retired. History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind. With the bucket. Now, Mr Rudge. How do you define history?

Dakin: "How does history happen?" I asked Irwin, and he couldnít answer. But now he knew. Nothing special. Skid on a corner...ordinary stuff. Irwin had never been on the back of a bike before, so maybe going round the corner he leaned out instead of in and so unbalanced Hector. Trust him to lean the opposite way to everyone else. But he had no memory of what caused it. The last thing he remembered was me asking him out for a drink. Something we never did, incidentally. Still, at least I asked him. Barr the accident, it would have happened.

Credit and many thanks to Roseh for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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