Hear My Voice
written by Jamie
What does it take to get you to hear me? I have tried everything I can think of. I made the soccer team; I learned to play the piano; I even clean my room and get good grades. And yet you still turn your back on me. You've shut your feelings up inside you so that no one can see that you're hurting. Why won't you let me help you? You talk to Matt; why not me? Maybe if I had been a son, too. Would you love me then? Or is it because I remind you of Mama? You never talk about her anymore. Why does it upset you so much just to talk about her? She's with Jesus now; you know that. You should be happy. I know she is. I miss her too, Daddy; but lately, I miss you more. Will I ever know what it takes to earn you love? To make you laugh again? All I have ever wanted is to make you happy. Tell me how to do that.
Why don't we ever go back to those hills you used to take me to? You know, before Mama died? Remember the picnics we would have? We would watch the rabbits and the butterflies, and you and I would talk about everything. But then Mama got sick, and that was when you started to talk less and less. You said that Mama would get better soon, and you sounded so sure of yourself. But after a while, the doctor took Mama away. We haven't had a picnic since.
Oh, how I wish that you would listen to me. There's so much I'd love to tell you. I'd say.Oh, I don't know what I'd say, but just the thought that you would take the time to hear me. It would mean the world to me. Daddy, can't you see that I need you? I need to know that you still love me. Even if all you do is ask me how my day was. Every time you ignore me or you look away, it rips me up inside. So, I'll just ask you, Daddy. All I need is a 'yes' or 'no': Daddy, do you love me?
Kudos and much thanks go to Jamie for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
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