Guys & Dolls
written by Joseph L. Mankiewicz, from the play by Abe Burrows & Jo Swerling, from the stories of Damon Runyon
Sky Masterson: On the day when I left home to make my way in the world, my daddy took me to one side. 'Son,' my daddy says to me, 'I am sorry I am not able to bankroll you to a large start, but not having the necessary lettuce to get you rolling, instead I'm going to stake you to some very valuable advice. One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of spades jump out of this brand-new deck of cards and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not accept this bet, because as sure as you stand there, you're going to wind up with an ear full of cider.'
Kudos and much thanks go to Ray for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.