written by Nicholas Pileggi & Martin Scorsese
(Tommy has just told a story that's cracked up the entire company of gangsters at a table)
Henry: (laughing hard) Really funny. Really funny.
Tommy: Whattya mean I'm funny?
Henry: You're just funny, y'know, the story. It's funny. You're a funny guy.
Tommy: Whattya mean? They way I talk? What?
Henry: It's just, y'know, it's just funny, you know the way you tell the story and everything ...
Tommy: Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it?
Anthony (Frank Adonis): (worried) Tommy, no, you got it all wrong ...
Tommy: Whoa, whoa Anthony! He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What'd you say? Funny how? What?
Henry: Just you know you're funny.
Tommy: You mean, let me understand this ... cuz I ... maybe its me, maybe I'm a little fucked up maybe. I'm funny how, I mean funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you. I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? Whattya you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?
Henry: I don't know just ... you know how you tell the story. What?
Tommy: No, no I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. (yelling now) How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny?
(Long suspenseful pause: is someone going to die?)
Henry (cracking up): Get the fuck outta here!
(everyone laughs, the tension is gone)
Tommy: Ya motherfucker, I almost had him! I almost had him! You stuttering prick here! Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning!!
Kudos and much thanks go to Mikko for the donation of this monologue, it is very much appreciated. An interesting bit of trivia from visitor Anthony: on request from Scorcese, Joe Pesci wrote and directed this scene.
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