Fresh Prince of Bel Air
from the episodes "Mistaken Identity" written by Susan Borowitz & Andy Borowitz
and "Those Were The Days" written by Samm-Art Williams
Philip Banks (James Avery): I've got a few questions for you. When you got this alleged confession from these two young men, did they have a lawyer present? No, because I'm their lawyer. Did you notify their parents? No, because we're their parents. So, officer, don't tell us to wait and don't tell us to sit down. Just open that damn cell and let those two boys out of there or I'm gonna tie this place up with so much litigation that your *grandchildren* are gonna need lawyers!
Philip Banks: You talk as if I wasn't there with you in Birmingham facing dogs and firehoses. This is me, Olufemi, the same Olufemi that was with you the night Harlem went up in flames. But now I have a family, and I choose not to fight in the streets. I have an office to fight from and I have fought and won cases for fair housing, affirmative action, health care, and I am not ashamed to write a big fat check for something I believe in and that doesn't make me any less committed than you, so don't you dare look down your damn nose at me, Adebola!
Kudos and many thanks to Jason Carter for these monologues, it is very much appreciated.