Freaky Friday
written by Heather Hach and Leslie Dixon, from the novel by Mary Rodgers
Anna (as her mother Tess): You read her diaries? Oh, that's gross! That’s bad. "Bad Mom" award. Nothing is going on between her and this guy. Because if there was, she wouldn't be writing about it in her diary, she'd be out there doing it. And her best friend probably isn't talking to her because she probably likes this guy, too. And he probably even flirted with her a little bit, but he secretly likes your daughter. He just hasn't made his move yet because that wouldn't be cool. So now her best friend is acting like some psycho freak. Okay?
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Anna (as Tess): Well, of course we’re tired because of our demanding and hectic ... Do you want to know why adults are so tired all the time? Because they spend their time obsessing about these stupid, lame things they don't really have to do. Like cooking. I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning? Let's don’t and say we did! And quality time with your kids? You know what? Quit bugging 'em! Leave 'em alone! They like it!
Dottie Robertson: I-I-I don’t remember reading any of this in your book.
Anna: Hello? It's called reading between the lines! Try listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Vines, The Breeders. And if you're excited about something, why do you have to hold it in all the time? You know, just scream about it! Okay, do this with me, all right? Let's just say this cute guy asks you out. What are you gonna do? Whoo! Come on, that was pathetic!! You know, you keep all that bottled up, no wonder you're getting old! I'm serious, this guy is hot! What are you gonna do? Whooo!
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Anna (as Tess): Uh, hi. Um, I, I guess I'm gonna start the toasts. So, three years ago, we had a really bad thing happen in our family. We lost a father and a husband, and I didn't think we'd ever be able to get over it. But then... this guy next to me came into the picture. And everybody could see I was happy again. I was singing in the shower again. Not well, I might add. But I was still really worried about my kids, Anna and Harry. Whether they'd be able to accept a new man in their life. And now I know how Anna feels. And, and what she feels is that...no one could ever take the place of her dad...because he was a really, really great dad. But somebody could be part of a new family. Its own kind of cool, new, little unit. And that for someone as special as Ryan, that we would all just make a little room. Anna really wanted her mom to know that.
Kudos and much thanks go to Amber for this monologue, it is very much appreciated. These monologues may differ from what is in the final film (i.e., there may be lines from other characters cut out.)