The Fisher King
written by Richard LaGravenese
Disabled Veteran: Parry? Parry? (Parry's not paying attention, he's looking for Lydia) Did you hear Jimmy Nickels got picked up yesterday?
(Parry wanders off so the wheelchair-bound Veteran turns his attention to Jack instead.)
Jack (hesitantly): Oh yeah?
Disabled Veteran: Yeah. He got caught pissing on a bookstore. Man's a pig. No excuse for that. (to woman who just dropped some coins in his cup) Thank ya babe. We're headed for social anarchy when people start pissing on bookstores.
(A passerby drops coin--it hits the floor next to the vet (where he can't reach it). Jack picks it up for him.)
Jack: Asshole. Didn't even look at you.
Disabled Veteran: Well, he's paying so he don't hafta look. Guy goes to work eight hours a day, seven days a week. Gets his nuts so tight in a vice that he starts to question even the very fabric of his existence. Then one day about quitting time, boss calls him in the office and says: "Hey, Bob, why don't you come in here and kiss my ass for me, will ya?" Well, he says "Hell with it. I don't care what happens, I just want to see the expression on his face as I jam this pair of scissors into his arm" (sighs) Then he thinks of me. He says, "Wait a minute, I got both my arms, both my legs, at least I'm not begging for a living." Sure enough, Bob's going to put those scissors down and pucker right up. Y'see, I'm what you call kinda of a moral traffic light really. I'm like, (robotically) "RED! Go no further! Boop boop boop boop boop!..."
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