Felicia's Journey
written by Atom Egoyan, based on the novel by William Trevor

Joseph Hilditch (Bob Hoskins) is a man with a dark secret, and with this dark secret in mind, he is trying to convince seventeen-year-old Felicia (Elaine Cassidy), a young Irish girl he has given lodgings to, to have an abortion. They have been futilely searching for her estranged boyfriend (Johnny - the father) ever since she came over to England from Ireland to search for him.
In this monologue, Ada is Hilditch's supposedly deceased wife -- who is non-existent, since he never had a wife).

Felicia: Johnny's different. He'd want our baby.
Hilditch: And you came here to ascertain that? To make sure, is that right, Felicia? But you never got an answer. We have to look at it like that. If the girl in the office had struck lucky today, then it would have been a different kettle of fish. I'm not saying it wouldn't. But she didn't. And I'm definately more minded of you now. We won't find Johnny.
Felicia: Johnny will be over St. Patrick's Day. Or Easter. I've been thinking about that the entire day. It'll be alright when I'm there, and we're together again.
Hilditch: Well there's no doubt that Johnny loves you, dear. Nothing you said to me contradicts that. Now, the point I'm trying to make to you is, a situation like you and Johnny and it, can all too easily be affected by misfortune. Ada said that, Felicia. Ada had a considerable insight into matters of the heart. The thing is Felicia, you're over here now. This isn't Ireland. And we have -- certain facilities available. What I'm saying to you is what I'd say to any daughter Ada and myself might have had. We're giving you the benefit of long experience. There isn't a doubt in my mind, Felicia. I thought of nothing else since I rested poor Ada in the ground.
Felicia: Some would call it murder.
Hilditch: (pause) Murder? We're not in this world to cause pain, dear. Of course you have to think of yourself on occasion. I'm not saying you don't. But there are other people, too. Which is something you're daily more aware of as you grow older.
Felicia: What are you talking about?
Hilditch: I want you to know when you've been through it, Felicia. But so has your dad. And your great-gran. Imagine them -- trying to hold their heads up. There's that to think about, too. We all have to do terrible things, Felicia. We have to find the courage sometimes. And you're a young girl. When you find Johnny again you can both make the choice to have a child. But the circumstances have to be right. A child needs to be surrounded by all the love it can. The love of the mother -- of course you have that. But the love of the father ... and the grandfather ... and the great-great grandmother. Why deprive this baby of that? I put by a little that I'd gladly donate in order to do the decent thing by your family.
Felicia: (pause, finally submitting) Anything you lend me, I'll send back. Every penny.
Hilditch: I know, dear Felicia. (beat) They can do an immediate at the Gishford.
Felicia: A what?
Hilditch: It's a clinic. They can do it at once. I asked the girl to put a call into them. You could be back across the water by Monday. Back a free spirit, Felicia, this whole thing, lifted from you. It's what's right, Felicia, believe me. It's what's meant.

Kudos and much thanks go to Sabine for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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