written by Susannah Grant
(Loud motorcycle noises cause Erin to leave her house, shouting)
Erin: Hey! Hey! HEY!
Erin: What are you doing making all that goddamn noise?
George: Well, uh, I don't know. We were just introducing ourselves to the neighborhood, I guess. Erin: Well, I'm the neighbors. There, we're introduced, so shut the fuck up. (walks away)
George: (chuckling) Hey, hey. Well, hold on there. Let's start over, okay? My name's George. What's yours?
Erin: Just think of me as the person next door who likes it quiet.
George: Hey, come on. Don't be like that. Hell, we live next door to each other. I feel bad. I feel terrible. I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology? I mean, hell, we're living right next door to each other. If you need a cup of sugar --
Erin: I don't need sugar.
George: You don't need any sugar. Well, why don't I take you out to dinner to apologize for my rudeness? Huh? You give me your number. I mean, I already got your address so you can't get away. Huh? I'll call you up proper and I'll ask you out and everything.
Erin:(scoffs) You want my number?
George: I do. I do want your number.
Erin: Which number do you want -- George?
George: George. Now I like the way you say that, "George." Uh, well, how many numbers you got?
Erin: Oh, I've got numbers coming out of my ears. For instance, ten.
Erin: Yeah. That's how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You've got a little girl?
Erin: Yeah. Sexy, huh? How about this for a number: six. That's how old my other daughter is. Eight is the age of my son. Two is how many times I've been married and divorced. Sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're going to call it. (turns and goes back into the house)
George: Hey, how the hell do you remember your bank balance off the top of your head like that? Y'see, that impresses me. (she slams the door behind her)
George: You're dead wrong about that zero thing, baby.
(George walks a few steps, kneels and falls forward onto his face onto the grass lawn, clearly impressed.)
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