written by Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor, from the novel by Tom Perotta

Tammy: Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's going to change anything around here? Make one single person smarter? or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one that gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college. So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college and I don't care. As president, I won't do anything. The only promise I will make is that, if elected, I will immediately dismantle the student government so that none of us has to sit through one of these stupid assemblies again. Or don't vote for me. Who cares? Don't vote at all!

Kudos and much thanks go to Scott for the donation of this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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