written by Kevin Smith

(Loki walks beside a nun (Betty Aberlin) in a semi-busy terminal. They pass through the metal detectors. The Nun carries a donation can.)
Nun: Let me get this straight: you don't believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland? Loki: No, 'Through the Looking Glass.' That poem, The Walrus & the Carpenter, that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus -- with his girth and his good nature -- he obviously represents either Buddha, -- or with his tusks -- the Hindu Elephant God, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now, the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now, in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They -- they dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures, en masse. Now, I dunno what that says to you, but to me, it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures insures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of - out of fear of some -- some intangible parent figure who -- who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago, and says -- and says: "Do it, do it and I'll fucking spank you!"
Nun: The way you put it. I've never really thought about it like that before. What have I been doing with my life? What am I?
Loki: Yeah, I know. Listen, my advice to you, you take this money you've been collecting for your parish, go get yourself a nice dress you know? Fix yourself up; find some man, find some woman that you can connect with, even for a moment. Cuz that's really all that life is, sister, it's a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours? Atta girl. Atta girl.

Thank you very much to TaureanRainChild for sending me a corrected version of this monologue. Thanks also very much to CruelAngel who also sent me a more-corrected version of this monologue. Thanks also to Katherine who pointed a slight typo in the monologue. An interesting bit of movie trivia: this nun played by Betty Aberlin is probably most famous for her recurring role in the Land of Make Believe in "Mister Rogers Neighborhood...playing "Lady Aberlin" (niece to King Friday). "Correct as usual, King Friday."

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