written by Kevin Smith
Holden: So it's true?
Alyssa: Is that what you want to hear? Is it? Yes, Holden, it is true! In fact everything you heard or dug up on me was probably true! Yeah, I took on two guys at once! You want to hear some gems you might not have unearthed--I took a 26-year-old guy to my senior prom, and then left halfway through to have sex with him and Gwen Turner in the back of a limo! Or how about in college when I let Shannon Hamilton videotape us having sex-only to find out the next day that he broadcast it on the campus cable station? They're all true-those and so many more! Didn't you know? I'm the queen of urban legend!
Holden: How the hell could you do those things?
Alyssa: Easily! Some of it I did out of stupidity, some of it I did out of what I thought was love, but-good or bad-they were my choices, and I'm not making apologies for them now-not to you or anyone! And how dare you try to lay a guilt trip on me about it- in public no less! Who the fuck do you think you are, you judgmental prick!
Holden: How am I supposed to feel about all of this?
Alyssa: How are you supposed to feel about it? Feel whatever the fuck you want about it! the only thing that really matters is how you feel about me.
Holden: I don't know how I feel about you now.
Alyssa: Why? Because I had some sex?
Holden: Some sex?
Alyssa: Yes, Holden-that's all it was:some sex! Most of it stupid high school sex, for Christ's sake! Like you never had sex in high school!
Holden: There's a world of fucking difference between typical high school sex and getting fucked by two guys at the same time! They fucking used you!
Alyssa: (crying hysterically) NO! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I had'nt wanted it to, do you?! I was an experimental girl,for Christ's sake! Maybe you knew early on that your track was from point A to B--but unlike you, I wasn't given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we-that's you and I-got together, and suddenly, I was sated. Can't you take some comfort in that? You turned out to be all I was ever looking for-the missing piece in the big fucking puzzle! Look I'm sorry I let you believe that you were the only guy I'd ever been with. I should've been more honest. But it seemed to make you feel special in a way that me telling you over and over again how incredible you are would never get across. Do you mean to tell me that while you have zero problem with me sleeping with half the women in New York city you have some sort of half-assed mealy-mouthed objection to pubescent antics that took place almost ten years ago? What the fuck is your problem?!!
Holden: (quietly) I want us to be something that we can't be.
Alyssa: And what's that?
Holden: A normal couple.
(He walks away, leaving her there in hysterical tears)
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