Brian
written by Matt McLaughlin

(Through the monologue, Brian must be a tough, uncaring guy: unemotional and gruff. He slouches in his seat and attempts to be as cool as possible. As the monologue approaches the end, Brian must continue to get emotionally weaker, breaking down and having a hard time dealing with the emotions. Intensity must also increase. He should be crying or very close to crying by the end of the speech. The monologue should be mixed with feelings of sadness, desperation, longing, anger, and loneliness.)

Brian: Brian. Rothrock. (pause) What? Are you waiting for something? Something good to happen up here? Sorry, nobody deserves to get what they want while Iím up here. You guys have waited, what? Probably a whole twenty minutes since you last had an enjoyable experience? Good for you! Youíve held out that long? A whole twenty minutes? We have some strong people in the audience! (pause) Try seventeen years! (Points to random people in the audience.) Yeah, sure, your wife may have cancer. Or you may be having some money problems. Big deal. Who gives a crap? Your wife could die, or you could end up out on the streets, and I would think nothing of it! Because in my mind, youíve not had it nearly as rough as me. So youíll get nothing out of me. Wait till the next good thing comes along. Or better yet, how bout somebody care for once and let me have the next good thing. (pause) You have no idea what itís like not having a friend. Now Iím not talking about your acquaintance, or someone that seems to always be nice to you for no reason. Those people make me sick. No, Iím talking about your extraordinary friend, your good friend. The person in your life that youíd wanna go through hell with. And I know damn well that each and every one of you have one of those people. Because this is just another area in which I am alone in. Ever since I can remember, early elementary school days, Iíve came so close to making some good friends, and at the last possible minute, my fu....my parents get new jobs and force us to move to a new town. Several times. And they donít give a damn! Or they would have stopped! But finally they did. And I had know idea that it was going to be the last move, or I would never have done the things I had done. In a desperate attempt, I just decided that I was through with it. I was done trying to right the wrongs my parents had done. Done trying to make new friends. So I stopped talking all together, unless it became absolutely necessary. I became a hermit. I warmed up to no one. Iíve done more talking tonight than I have the past four years. And it became an unbreakable habit. The quiet kid. And I canít...I...what the hell am I supposed to do now, huh? Gimme some ideas? No, nevermind. I donít care anymore. Things like this arenít supposed to get to me. Nothing is supposed to get to me. At one point I had thought I might have been able to break the habit, the friendless streak. This beautiful, red-haired girl in one of my classes expressed interest in me. And it was great. I surprised myself when I eventually got involved with her. I had it within my grasp. Lonely no longer. Two years. Two years I was somewhat happy. And it wasnít the girl that made me happy, no it was the feeling of having someone. I couldíve cared less about the girl herself. I donít get like that about anybody! Nobody! But then she left me. And I was lonely again. And since then, Iíve been involved with others, but oddly enough, they were never like the red-head. She mad me happy. I think she was my good friend. For some reason, I miss her! I would do anything to get her back. I think I lo....lo....no! I donít get like that! (pause) But I did. I loved her! And Iím lonely again. And, like I said, Iím still waiting for something good to happen.

Kudos and much thanks go to Matt for this monologue , it is very much appreciated.

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