Baby in the Bathwater
from the play by Christopher Durang

(Daisy is actually a boy, and he is wearing a dress. His mother always told him he was a girl, so he always wore dresses. When he starts picking up the characteristics of his crazy parents, he goes to see a psychologist, who he's talking to here.)
Daisy: When I was eleven I came across this medical book that had pictures in it, and I realized I looked more like a boy than a girl, but my mother had always wanted a girl or a best seller, and I didnít want to disappoint her. But then on some days, I donít know what got into me, and I just feel like striking out at them. So I waited till she was having one of her crying fits and I took the book to her, I was 12 then, and I said, "Have you ever seen this book? Are you totally insane? Why have you named me Daisy? Everyone else has always said I was a boy, whatís the matter with you?" And she kept crying and said something about Judith Krantz and then something about being out of shake and bake chicken and then she said I want to die, and then she said perhaps you are a boy, but we donít want to jump to any hasty conclusions, so why donít we just wait and see if I menstruated or not. When I asked her what that word meant, she slapped me and washed my mouth out of soap. Then she hugged me and said she was a bad mother. Then she washed her mouth out with soap. Then she turned on all the gas jets and said it would just be a little while longer for the both of us. And then my father came home and he untied me and turned off all the gas jets and then when he asked her if dinner was ready she would lay on the kitchen floor and wouldnít move, and he said I guess not, and then he sort of crouched next to the refrigerator and tried to read a book, but I donít think he was ever really reading, because he never turned any of the pages. And then eventually, since nothing else seemed to be happening, I just went to bed.

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