Half Baked
written by Dave Chappelle & Neal Brennan

Brian: First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the dog WAS. Now Killer was born to a three-legged bitch mother. And he was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz. He's a small-time gunrunner and, uh, rottweiler fight promoter. So he puts Killer into training, next thing you know Killer's GOOD! He is DAMN good! But then, he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother Nibbles. And Killer said, "No, man, that's my brother, I can't fight Nibbles!" And he made him fight anyway. And then Killer, Killed Nibbles. And Killer said, "That's it!" And he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he ffffffff-FREAKED OUT. And then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart... no longer beat. Wow.
Thurgood Jenkins (Dave Chappelle): You know, I never thought I'd say this, but you have been smoking entirely too much reefa.

Kudos and much thanks go to Ryan Logan for some vital corrections to this monologue, it is very much appreciated.

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