Army of Darkness
written by Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi

Ash: Yeah. All right you primitive screwheads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a twelve gauge double-barreled Remington, S-Mart's top-of-the-line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids Michigan. Retails for about $199.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop Smart. Shop S-mart. Ya got that?! Now I swear, the next one of you primates, even touches me... Ya! Now, let's talk about how I get back home.

Kudos and much thanks go to PunisherSK for this monologue , it is very much appreciated. Thanks to Keith for sending in a correction.

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