written by Roger Allers, Ron Clements, Ted Elliott, John Musker, & Terry Rossio

Genie: Aaaaahhhhh! OY! Ten-thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck! Whoa! Does it feel good to be outta there! (pretends to have a microphone) Nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. (to Aladdin) Hi, where ya from? What's your name? Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin. Nice to have you on the show. Can we call you 'Al?' Or maybe just 'Din?' Or howbout 'Laddi?' (suddenly is wearing a kilt) Sounds like "Here, boy! C'mon, Laddi!" Do you smoke? Mind if I do? Oh, sorry Cheetah, hope I didn't singe the fur! Hey, Rugman! Haven't seen you in a few millennia! Slap me some tassel! Yo! Yeah! (high-fives carpet) Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side, do I look different to you? That's right, you're my master! He can be taught!! What would you wish of me, (as Arnold Schwarzenegger) the ever impressive, (inside a cube) the long contained, (as a ventriloquist with a dummy) often imitated, but never duplicated....he multiplies into about 7 different Genies)...duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated, duplicated.... Genie! Of! The Lamp! (as Ed Sullivan) Right here direct from the lamp, right here for your enjoyment wish fulfillment. Thank youuuuu! (back) You get three wishes to be exact. And ix-nay on the wishing for more wishes. That's it, three. Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds. Master, I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, while I illuminate the possibilities!

Kudos and much thanks go to Sara for this monologue, it is very much appreciated. It has been edited slightly for this page.

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