written by Douglas Kenney, Chris Miller, & Harold Ramis
Professor Jennings: Now...what can we say of John Milton's "Paradise Lost"? Well, it's a very long poem, it was written a long time ago, and I'm sure a lot of you have difficulty understanding exactly what Milton was trying to say. Certainly we know that he was trying to describe the struggle between good and evil, right? (picks up an apple from his desk) Okay. The most intriguing character, as we all know from our reading, was (writing "SATAN" on the blackboard) Satan. Now, was Milton trying to tell us that being bad was more fun than being good?
(He takes a bite out of the apple; a long pause as he chews and realizes that the class remains unmoved)
Okay...don't write this down, but I find Milton probably as boring as you find Milton. Mrs. Milton found him boring, too. He, uh, he's a little bit long-winded, he doesn't translate very well into our generation, and his jokes are terrible. (the bell rings, and the students begin to leave) But that does not relieve you from your responsibility for this material! Now, I'm waiting for reports from some of you! (students pay no attention to him) Listen, I'm not joking! This is my job!
Kudos and much thanks go to Brad for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.
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